Mistress

It’s just another special day for her. A pale, wrinkled and lean body rests on the wheel chair and worries. What would have been so painful to the sky that it weeps for days ? She pities on the dark gray clouds above. What if the little bulbul’s nest amongst the weeds withers away with the downpour? All she knows is to worry and to wait for her sajna to return except for the times her conscience sticks to her..a few times when she remembers of losing whole of a family.

Bas inna sa mera fasana hai...tennu geet hijar da sunana hai..

Palko pe jo tune moti dekhe..dhage me pirona hai..

 

Younger was time when he used to listen to her geet and sat besides when eyes were salty. They used to speak words of faith. Now, the gray eyes hazily stare at the broken walls of her place where the first brick was laid with care. Her days go special for once she had loved. This sajni has thought of living special days and hopes of a future with every song of hers and so she worries. She dips her early biscuits in anticipation although her soul is on the verge of leaving an ugly cage.

Menu mere rab da vasta hai..dur..bahut durr chale jana hai.

Ud jan de mennu..panchi ban kho jan de is khule aasmaan me.

 You're my world..The shelter from the rain

You're the pills..That take away my pain
You’re the light..That helps me find my way
You’re the words..When I have nothing to say

And in this world..where nothing else is true
Here I am..Still tangled up in you
I’m still tangled up in you
Still tangled up in you..

 

P.S. : The most exquisite line in the song is...

"You're the only thing that i like about me.."

Reverie

He had never smiled so fake..

As if a life’s at stake..

I dream of a smile..When all good moments seem borrowed for an instance..

He lives with a desire

One that’s gonna cling onto him till pyres

I dream of a desire that pushes him to stand alone.

He regretted a decision so lame..

He painted his dreams in her name

I dream of a painting with no dimension of time and tense..

Tired of feeling so small..

Of rhyming out of minds and trying to crawl..

I dream of a rhythm curled in ties of his ecstasy..

Can prayers be heard?

Can a world change?

I dream of a prayer that answers all questions..

The egoist and the Alter-ego

Let not the pride go undefined.

I dream of a pride that melts before exaltation.

Doleful being… silent cry..

One kiss and reverse the time could simply fly.

I dream of a kiss which brings his love back to him.

I dream of a dream where all my dreams come true…

He gets his gal and life turns blind.

Peace seeks a friend.

Last thought in consciousness and then sway in swoon..

There are things that timE cannot erase..and there are some which we dont let gO..

I didnt let, be erased, the memories of those beautiful childhood afternoons when, after school, i used to sit with the watchman near the garden of my apartment and tell him stUff i did at school.. and time wasnt able to erase the memOries of a post-beautiful-afternoon momEnt when i enter the empty drawing room of my home with burden on my shoulders framing a picture that would probably speak of mundane isolation..

SomehOw, today i love talking to a stranger n listen to his story, just like the watchman who used to listen to me.

Somehow, today i loVe entering an empty room and feEl satiated with the silence around...just like tOnight..with peaCe and endless dePths of blackness to sink intO..the daylight today is toO shallow !

Woh Sadak !

 Der Raat jab mai Ghar laut rahi thi..

Khaali Sadak ko logon ki kami thi

Ek geet jo mai gunguna rahi thi

Usme bhi thakawat ki nami thi..

Bawra Mann Dilli ghum raha tha

Jaise din abhi Dhalla hi na ho..

Aur un Beete Lamho ko Maap Tol raha tha

Jinme ek Ansuna Kissa chupa Pada ho

Kuch Durr jo Chali ayi mai...Hai koi nahi

Na koi Sadak ke Ujalo mai..na koi Andhero me..

Aur Teen Char kadam pe to jaise

Man bhi chup sa gaya ho

Itne me Tera bas ek Khyaal jo aa gaya..Laga jaise..

Peeche se ek Ajnabee ne Dost keh kar Pukara ho ....

As simple as this !

All the vicinity faded away the day when he first saw her. He was not the kind of person to fall for girls who know nothing but how to look good. She had this delusion of grandeur. No doubt, her looks were stunning to the point that heads were certain to turn. The beauty with no brains lived a life of a princess with the ancestral inheritance she acquired with minimal effort.

His was a life adorned with success. Getting the love of life was never included in that success list. He wasn’t even a believer of love at first sight but things were destined to happen.

It was then when he managed a convo with the girl that he realised that it would be difficult for him to accept her even as the less better half. But, it was too late and she was on his list that defined success.  Moreover, the question whether the girl would accept him had not even raised yet. He could not have afford to let go off her in any circumstance. A way exists for every will. He decided to train her for life. He taught her how the world works and the pragmatic approach to existence. He taught her the ways to gain respect from the respectful beings. Plus he never forgot to tell her that she was the girl he loves truly, madly and deeply and so she never found any reason not to be with him at any point of the day or the night.

There was ofcourse the second side of this coin.At times when they lay on the wet grass together under the open sky, he told her about the constellations above and she helped him find immense pleasure in appraising even the flawed beauty of the moon. At nights when they went for long drives, he said he wants youngsters to understand how fatal crossing speed limits can get and she tells her how thrilled biking and passionate love crosses the limits of fear of death. Gradually she taught him much more than he taught her with more intensity and credence.

As she found a Magus in him who could arouse and then quench the thirst for knowledge, he had come to know eternal love for not only knowledge and success but for love itself. He always loved her and now he loves Love too.

P.S:  They were happy since the beginning, until now and lived happily ever after.

Again to Return

Sometimes getting no answer is better that getting 'no' as an answer..

Indu :Is your luggage packed ? There is nothing left na ?

nO.

Indu :What is the duration of your trip ? Are there any chances that it would get extended ?

nO.

Indu :You are taking the duplicate keys with you right ?

nO.

Indu :You are going to return na ? 

nO.

P.S.: And he walks away..

'You' but your 'Memories'

Its not always that you choose to love.

It is not always you love to love.

But at times when the heartbeat fastens and stomach turns numb,

beautiful songs are forged.

She ponders over the days bygone and those to come.

She says she does not know when she fell in love.

 

I dont know when love has just begun.

Dunno when it was first i felt for you.

Was it when you had called me the other day ?

or was it when you first took my name?

I loved you for more than a single instance..

Once while holding hands under the streetlight,

Once in the CCD sitting besides..

A lot happened over a coffee..oh yes !

And once when we babbled till dawn,

And when you texted me in early morn.

I loved you

I love you only more.

Didnt know that love had already begun.

Didnt know it has to be short and sweet.

I love you for more than a single instance,

I love you for a part of my lifetime.

Believe me when i say...

"i can someday loose you...you but not your memories.."

P.S. : She says she does not know when she fell in love.

Fb

Today was something not regular. The chat option on my fb was enabled..i chatted..for long..after long..i realized how detached i have eventually been from fb society..my friends and all. I realized that i have one more bunch of friends who are somewhere nearby..always..but i wasn't the same to them..i am not the same and can never be. I have too many friends. I cant stay with all of them for always. Above all, i dont really want to keep people by my side anymore. I let loose.. by choice or by default..wtv. People asked me if i was still alive. They asked me if my Internet connection had a problem. Some simply asked how i was(and that was sweet) but one of them asked if i was recently committed and for which i stayed back for long ? What is this small little crazy thing called love ?? Does it keep you from chatting with your frnds on fb ? I told him i am single. He asked if i even know how to love someone.. 

and then i asked the same question to myself..

P.S. - :)

The 20 day Challenge

This is of being tagged in a challenge where one has to post continuously for 20 days..which i obviously would have failed..

It is because i had been tagged by this gal - Colours , i would sum up everything in here..

 DAY-1

15 facts about me-

1. I get nothing to start writing with when it comes to state facts about myself.

2. I love speaking in telugu..but i dont know the language..the only words i know are - nenu, niku, ledu, telsu, chependi, matladu, enamma, epoindi.

3. I sleep along with my green guava pillow..the weird part is that the guava has baby pink tongue. It is sweet though !

4. I literally spend the whole day mourning after i gave away three of my barbie dolls last year.

5. Right now my head realizes that 15 is too much.

For the rest ten..Click here

DAY-3

My Favorite superhero :

The fighters !

Look at his beard ! =)

DAY-4

Zodiac Sign :

CAPRICORN...

Practical and prudent

Ambitious and disciplined

Patient and careful

Humorous and Reserved

On the dark side...

Stubborn, overbearing, unforgiving !

DAY-6

A Habit that i wish i didnt have :

I go mad when i am too tired...i babble around, laugh at others, laugh at myself, laugh till my belly aches, go insane and make a fuss and then i even love to fight if a frnd or if my bro is around and continue this until i finally sleep..

Although i really don't dislike thid habit of mine, i simply cant see myself go straight to sleep when im tired..

DAY-7

My Last fb update:

"A train crossing a bridge over one shallow river..a girl.. Lehari sitting besides emergency window sees the summer come.."

My Last twitter update :

"This is a situation where there is water water everywhere...not a drop to drink.."

(Almost that !)

Country on my travel list:

EGYPT ! :)

List of first 3 songs of my playlist :

Call me Dil - Rasheed Ali

Sab Bhula ke - CALL the band

With Arms Wide Open - Creed

DAY-10

Things i miss about home :

1. Singing 'choti si baat' with mom while making Roti..

2. All my cousins playing cricket..and watching them..and sumtimes even playing with them.

3. Swinging to and fro.. on that giant swing..

4. Playing Badminton till late on winter nights.

5. Baccha Party..(mine is a joint family so there are too many of them)

6. Jokes that my dad does crack..and the funny face he makes after that..

7. Slapping my bro.

8. Crying Peacefully..

9. Eating whatever and whenever you want..ahem!

10. Everything i didn't mention already..

DAY-12

Something i am proud of in last few days :

Started learning how to cook.. and the fact that finally my little bro has started respecting me..and..

Saving money !

DAY-16

A song that best descries my mood now..

COLDPLAY :

"Did I drive you away?
I know what you'll say.
You'll say, "Oh, sing one we know"
But I promise you this,
I'll always look out for you.
That's what I'll do.
Singing...
Singing...
My heart is yours.
It's you that I hold on to.
That's what I'll do.
But I know I was wrong,
And I won't let you down.
(Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah I will, yes I will…)
Singing...
Crying...
Yeah I saw sparks,
Yeah I saw sparks,
And I saw sparks,
Yeah I saw sparks,
Singing out.
La, la, la, la, oh…
La, la, la, la, oh…
La, la, la, la, oh…
La, la, la, la, oh…"

..

....

.......

I guess i must end it here..

:)

Lessen the Lesson

The perishable act of time will soon decease and she will soon be with Life..living it..There is a "send anyway" option on her cellphone which pops up whenever she sends an empty sms to someone..and everytime she saw that, she had an idea of a similar option for her existence..tagged "live anyway". She is my friend. 

It was once, when sitting on the terrace of my old hostel, looking at the clouds..white..up above in the distant sky, i felt like talking to her of bliss and not the sorrows. I wanted to talk of those little pleasures of life which bring a dawning day to every endless night that i pass by. I wanted her to listen to me and find happiness for herself. Looking at her eyes, i spoke a few words but then we shared silence for hours. 

 

All i said was..

My mom's eyes that continue to stare at mine when i laugh,when i smile...makes me feel a little proud. Pleasure is when a child smiles at me..pleasure is when i am thoughtful and someone in the crowd is able to notice. It is bliss when i read an old page of my diary which has sadness in it. Bliss is the pain that comes from expectations because i soon realise that it was stupid of me expecting something like that. Pleasure is just the old flat in Charukeshi apartments. Pleasure is in being sorry. Pleasure is having a grand reason to cry and being able to cry peacefully. Pleasure is when goodbyes are kept tacit. It is when you dont have to set limits for yourself and others do that. Pleasure is staring at the white clouds in the distant sky.

The Old Book for Coloring.

There was a time when i was good at painting..yes painting..that was when i was 6 years old..but since then i have a total of 0% improvement. I told my dad that i wanted to join painting classes. He said a straight NO and asked me to join guitar classes. =(
Do i really want to learn playing guitar ?
Dunno.
But i would like to go painting classes..and feel the same i felt when i used to get a brand new set of sharp crayon or color pencils way back in school.
:D

And thence i have landed with this piece.. 

P.S.: Itna bhi bura nahi hai ! =P